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幽默故事_搞笑小故事逗人开心

幽默故事 幽默故事中的哲理7 问题补充:卖书 【幽默】 一个很有名的作家要来书店参观。书店老板受宠若惊,连忙把所有的书撤下,全部换上作家的书。作家来到书店后,心里非常高兴,问道:“…

幽默故事

幽默故事中的哲理7

问题补充:卖书
【幽默】
一个很有名的作家要来书店参观。书店老板受宠若惊,连忙把所有的书撤下,全部换上作家的书。作家来到书店后,心里非常高兴,问道:“贵店只售本人的书吗?”
“当然不是。”书店老板回答,“别的书销路很好,都卖完了。”
【顿悟】
“拍马屁”是个奇怪的词:你象是在奉承他,又象是在侮辱他。

●呵呵。
●“拍马屁”是个奇怪的词:你象是在奉承他,又象是在侮辱他。
●有道理。
●有道理。
●我看他是存心出作家的洋相!不是拍马屁!
●两个画家在展室碰面..画家A:”刚才去进去看了一下,看的全是你的作品!”画家B高兴道:”真的吗?没有别人的吗?”画家A:”别人的作品前面人太多,挤不进去!”….

幽默故事中的哲理1

问题补充:建筑师
【幽默】
一位夫人打电话给建筑师,说每当火车经过时,她的睡床就会摇动。
“这简直是无稽之谈!”建筑师回答说,“我来看看。”
建筑师到达后,夫人建议他躺在床上,体会一下火车经过时的感觉。
建筑师刚上床躺下,夫人的丈夫就回来了。他见此情形,便厉声喝问:“你躺在我妻子的床上干什么?”
建筑师战战兢兢地回答:“我说是在等火车,你会相信吗?”
【顿悟】
有些话是真的,却听上去很假;有些话是假的,却令人无庸置疑。

●晕~我要转系!!!!!
●黄河里洗澡啊!—真是没办法啊—焉知不是一个套套?
●这就是裤裆里的黄泥,事实说不清!
●无耐
●相信自己的老婆
●呵呵。

历史儿童的幽默故事

问题补充:幽默的历史故事
●幽幽和默默谈恋爱 幽幽:你爱我不?默默:哦.幽幽:哦是什么. 默默:爱. 幽幽:爱谁? 默默:你!幽幽:说全了 要不晚上别想睡觉! 默默:我爱你。幽幽:你看这是你自己说的我可没逼你….咱们要个孩子吧? 默默:好啊 幽幽:那你会疼咱们的孩子么? 默默:当然了 幽幽:呸你只能疼我一个! 默默:好 就疼你一个. 幽幽:我的孩子你凭什么不疼? 默默:咱们别要孩子了… 当天晚上幽幽和默默的孩子出生了 幽默吧…..
●那时我还没出生,所以我不知道,我很老实的…
●我只听过”司马缸砸缸”!!!

英语谚语故事和幽默故事

问题补充:急急急急急急急急急急急急急急急急急!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
●Tom threw a piece of butter out of his window. What did he see the next moment he threw it.Guess a word.

谁有英语幽默故事带翻译?

问题补充:谁有英语幽默故事带翻译?
●The Rain A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them, and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not feel very happy. For a long time while they were walking home through the rain, the boy was thinking. Then at last he turned to his father and said to him,“Why does it rain, Father? It isn’t very nice, is it?” “No, it isn’t very nice, but it’s very useful,Tom,”answered his father.“It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us, and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep.” Tom thought about this for a few seconds, and then he said,“Then,why does it rain on the road too, Father?” 下雨 一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走,突然下起了大雨。 他们没带伞,加上四下无处可以躲雨,所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了,小男孩感到很不好受。 他们在雨中朝家走去,有好一会儿,那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去,问他说:“爸爸,为什么天会下雨呢?下雨可不太好,是吧?” “是呀,下雨是不太好,可是下雨也有很多有益的地方,汤姆。”父亲回答说。“老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长,同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。” 汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会,然后说:“那么,父亲,老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢?”

有没有关于语言的幽默故事 古今笑话 相声

问题补充:要精彩,精妙
●一家珠宝店被盗,当警察赶到现场时,发现一个醉鬼躺在那里,为了弄清珠宝的去向,警察找来了一桶冷水,一边将醉鬼的头按入水中,一边问:“你看到那些珠宝了吗?” 这个醉鬼睁开蒙胧的眼睛说:“对不起,我实在找不到,你们还是换别的潜水员吧!” 有个赌徒从家里拿了1000元去赌博,几小时后,他回来了。 他妻子忙问:“那张大票子‘生孩子’了没有?” “生了,生了”,赌徒从衣袋里掏出两张10元的钞票,哭丧着脸说:“不幸的是,它们的‘母亲’去世了。” 明智之举 一位莫斯科公民丢了一只鹦鹉——一只很会骂人的鹦鹉。 天知道它会在外面乱说些什么呢?那位失主很紧张,为了避免不必要的麻烦,他特地在一家有声誉的发行量很大的报纸上刊登了这么一则广告:“遗失会说话鹦鹉一只,特此郑重申明:本人不同意它的政治观点。” 有一家新生了一个儿子,一个具有天份的小baby。小孩生下后就会说话了,也认 得自己的亲人。可悲的是,这个小孩一喊自己的什么亲人,他的那个亲人立马就死。 小孩喊了一声姥爷,姥爷正在喝水,马上就被水噎死了;孩子喊了声姥姥,姥姥正跨 进门槛,摔了一跤跌死了。 孩子的父亲看到孩子这么了不得,看着孩子直发怵,正准备逃出家去。没想到孩子的 眼睛扫了过来,张开了嘴。父亲吓得直哆嗦。果然,孩子叫了声“爸爸”。父亲心里 一下子沉到了海底:“我可不能这样死,要死也要死在床上!”。父亲托着双腿爬到 了床上,就等着死神的降临。 等啊等啊,父亲等了一个又一个小时,结果一直没死成。父亲忠于一跃而起:“宝宝 克不了他父亲!”。父亲到处宣传着。 这时,邻居的嫂子哭着来向父亲通报:“我那可怜的丈夫刚才还好好的,突然喊了一 声就不知怎么死了!” 某人去化验科,护士指着前方一牌说:非本科人员不得入内。 来人大怒,骂道:我就化验个尿,还他妈要本科文凭 妻子问丈夫: 你喜欢我的温柔可爱呢,还是喜欢我的聪明美丽? 丈夫答:我就喜欢你的这种幽默感!

古今笑话或幽默故事

问题补充:古今笑话或幽默故事
●空中小姐用和谐悦耳的声音对旅客说: “请把安全带系好。”所有的旅客都照做了。过了5分钟,空中小姐用更优美的声音说道: “请再把安全带系紧一点吧,我们飞机上忘了带食品。”一句话证明自己很丑:我交朋友就一个条件,视力差。和女朋友在一起会被认为很有钱。整容医生看见我就知道大生意来了。妈妈从来不担心我早恋。不知为什么历史老师在讲到人的进化史时,总会把我请上讲台。睡前问电风扇: “我帅吗?”然后电风扇在没电的情况下开始摇头。用河水当镜子,结果,鱼全死掉了。之前买票看《哥斯拉》,售票员小声说了句: “自己的同类有什么好看的!”走在路上引起许多妹子的尖叫,叫完以后开始拿东西砸我。我妈妈从来不让我照镜子,她说怕失去我。当年接生我的医生到现在还在为这件事自责。一句话证明自己很美:小学语文课,老师给我们讲美的含义,我百思不得其解,同桌递过来一面镜子,我一照,恍然大悟。我一直在寻找最普通的相机,为什么我怎么拍人家都说我是PS过的。身份证照片被很多人拿来当头像。韩国女生都是拿着我的照片去整容的。小偷前些日子偷了我的手机,翻了我的相册,后来一直尝试联系我,邀请我吃饭。父母拉着我去做亲子鉴定,医生说,人类生不出这么美的男子。如果帅可以当饭吃,我可以养活全世界。食堂阿姨给我打菜手从来都不抖!自从在空间晒了一张自拍照,腾讯每个月都自动给我充会费。看过我的女生都想请我吃饭,她们经常为此打起来。不管我做错什么都会被别人原谅。

给我5个英语幽默故事,附加中文(50字内!)

问题补充:要4年纪的
●“ Yes, here it is, young man. ” The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man. But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it. “ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man. “ Sure! Just shake it when it’s time to get up, and it’ll ring. ” 一只闹钟 一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里,他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。 上床睡之前,他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说:“对不起,先生,请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗?我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。” “哦,很抱歉”,旅馆老板说,“恐怕不行,我不可能起那么早。” 年轻人正想回到FANG间去,又停住了问:“那你有闹钟吗?或许它能帮助我。” “我有,给你,年轻人。” 年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟,谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后,发现似乎有毛病。 “它能准时闹吗?”他问老头儿。 “那当然!时间一到,你摇一摇,他就会响的。”

英语幽默故事(可以长一点,带翻译)

问题补充:英语幽默故事(可以长一点,带翻译)
●Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

英语幽默故事(尽量长一点)

问题补充:英语幽默故事(尽量长一点)
●1. A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!钉子还是苍蝇? 一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇,他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂,瓶子掉下来摔碎了,酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后,对他深表同情,决定帮他个忙。   于是,第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时,她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。   这里,老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看,苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近,使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫,好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是,可怜的老头正坐在地板上,牙关紧咬,右手滴血不止。2.A Soldier's Brilliant IdeaMr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.士兵的高招 由于生意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时,他喜欢靠窗坐,故而一登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是,这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些,他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。   然而,等到了那儿,他看见座位上有则启事,是用钢笔写的:“为保持装载平衡,特预设该位置,谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过,他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品,于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。   又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上,他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时,一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。 3.A Bad ImpressionSix people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers. At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again. The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?" As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!" 一个坏印象 有六个人搭乘火车旅行,坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静,也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人,给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。   最后,这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮他的忙。有个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了,才打开窗户,对着他大声喊:“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后,又把窗户关了起来。   年轻人转过身子,拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱,匆匆赶了回来。他转回来时,显得非常疲倦,对着窗户大声喊:“我把什么东西留在车上了?”   当火车再次启动时,叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说:“一个极坏的印象!” 4.A SmugglarThe suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams. "What's in here?" he asked. "Dirt," the driver replied. "Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them." Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go. A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck. "What's in the bags this time?" he asked. "Dirt, more dirt." said the man. Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil. The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time." Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars." 走私犯 一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时,惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。   “里面装的是什么?”他问道。   “土。”司机回答。   “把袋子拿出来”,哨兵命令道:“我要检查。”   那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实,口袋里除了土以外,别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。   一周后,那人又来了,哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。   “这次袋子里装的是什么?”他问道。   “土,又运了一些土。”那人回答。   哨兵不相信,对那些袋子又进行了检查,结果发现,除了土以外,仍旧一无所获。   同样的事情每周重演一次,一共持续了六个月。最后,哨兵被弄得灰心丧气,干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里,那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧,下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说,“我说,老兄,你要是能帮我一个忙,今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我,那段时间你到底在走私什么东西?”   那人俯身过来,凑近侍者的耳朵,裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说:“汽车。”

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